Archive for January, 2010

हमारे नुक्कड़ की सुबह


छोटी चाची : उठ जाओ कमीनो , सुबह हो गयी . घोड़े बेच कर सो रहे हो या अस्तबल ही बेचने की कसम खाई है !!!!!!




सफेदी रानी : नहीं उठना मैडम , कल रात के पार्टी के बाद , सुपर हैंगोवर हो गया है | गर्रर … | अरे कल्लू कहाँ है ?




कल्लू मियां : भाँड में जाओ सब के सब | मुझे मत रोको | मुझे सोने दो | मैं कसम खाता हूँ मैं कभी दारू नहीं पियूँगा |




उस्ताद काँव काँव : अरे हमारी छम्मक छल्लो कहाँ है ? कल तोह पागलों की तरह कमर हिला रही थी




छम्मक छल्लो : घर्र .. घर्र (खर्राटे लेते हुए सपने में “कटरीना सावधान !!! मैं आ रही हूँ मुंबई !!! फिर देखना मेरे हर ठुमके पे उ.प.-बिहार लूटेगा” ) .. घर्र घ्र्र्र




ग्यानी बाबा : हो हो हो हो … कितनी बार समझाया है दारू पीना छोड़ दो | पानी पियो और प्रभु का नाम लो ! बम भोले .. बम भोले




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The color is Red

No, I am not talking about the book by Orhan Pamuk. I am talking about Facebook.

Date : 7th January, 2010.

Place : Facebook

Phenomenon : You see status messages like “White”, “Black”, “Beige”, “Electric Blue”, “Nothing!!!” …

Deeper Analysis : Its the female users who have colors as their status messages. Male users ,like me, are clueless. When asked, we are snubbed at.

Revelation : Someone in Detroit decided to spread breast cancer awareness.through social-networking. She sent a mail through Facebook to her female friends which went like “Just write the color of your bra in your status. Just the color, nothing else. And send this on to ONLY girls no men .. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status. Ha ha!”

Effect : What started as a fun mail in Detroit spread like wildfire all through the globe as chain-mail on Facebook within hours.

Proof of effect : My page on Facebook was flooded with “colorful” status messages.

Views :

  • “I don’t want my wife/sister to be posting the color of her bra on a social network for everyone to see. Its against our culture”
  • “How does it help in spreading awareness about breast cancer. Pointless, voyeuristic!!!”
  • “The word bra reminds me of breast and not breast cancer”.
  • “It was about fun and nothing else”

My two cents :

It had the fun element embedded in it, and that’s why it spread all over the world within hours. Remember the “jaago re” ad about voting. It was a success because the ad was interesting. It caught your attention.

A female friend rightly put it “Guys might think bra=breast, but for a woman bra=breast=breast-cancer because this is something every woman fears and should be worried about “. There were people who wrote on their blogs that seeing the phenomenon forced them to have a self-examination or get an appointment for a scanning or a mammogram. If this is not  awareness then what is?.

Think of a situation when for the whole day you see ads about teeth and dental care on TV. If you have doubts about your dental health (even if you don’t) you just might be tempted to get a standard dental check-up. The whole advertising/marketing industry works on this phenomenon:

– Put an ad on internet/tv/newspaper/hoarding

– Expect x% of people to show interest in the product

– y % go ahead and buy the product and your ad campaign is a success.

Similarly in this case, even if 1% of women having fun on Facebook thought about going to the doctor or doing a self-examination, it was a successful awareness campaign.

As for people who were not comfortable seeing their wives/sisters/daughters putting up this status message , I have just one thing to say to them : “clean-up your mind, become educated and just GROW UP or you will become obsolete (like the floppy-disk) in this educated, progressive society”.

What are your views ??

P.S. : why am I writing on this topic??? Well, I strongly believe in the power of social-media , and this was a great example to bolster my belief.

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Twitter ke Sholay – Part I

Reader Alert :  If you are not on twitter, this post won’t make any sense, which doesn’t mean that you don’t read the post. Instead go join twitter

गब्बर : Hmm कितने RT थे

कालिया : सरदार दो RT थे

गब्बर : दो RT? Bots के बच्चों !!! वो दो और तुम तीन … फिर भी आ गए वापिस tweet करने? क्या समझ कर आये थे ? सरदार खुश होगा , तुम्हे follow करेगा? दिक्कार है . अरे हो @Saambha कितना इनाम रखा है सरकार ने?

साम्भा : आपको पकड़ने या मारने वाले को Gul Panag (@gulpanag),Shashi Tharoor (@ShashiTharoor), Chetan Bhagat(@chetan_bhagat) और Shah Rukh Khan(@iamsrk) follow करेंगे

गब्बर : सुना … और ये इसलिए  है क्यूंकि यहाँ से पचास कोस दूर जब एक बच्चा tweet नहीं करता है तो माँ बोलती है बेटा tweet कर दे नहीं तो गब्बर सिंह आ जाएगा …. और ये तीन @#$%^& गब्बर सिंह का नाम मिटटी में मिला दिए .. इसकी सज़ा मिलेगी …. बराबर मिलेगी (takes out the computer’s mouse) कितने button हैं ?

कालिया : सरदार तीन

गब्बर : @#$%^ अब्बे Apple Mac का mouse है .. इसमें एक button है 😡 . आदमी तीन और button एक ? बहुत ना इंसाफी है !!!!

कालिया : स..स..स..सरदार मैंने आपको follow किया है

गब्बर : तो अब Block भी हो जा……. TiHi TiHi TiHi 😆

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My Experiments with Truth (read Internet)

Well, we were having a party at my place. And we were playing song-request game. The game was that everyone takes turn to play a song which he/she hasn’t heard in ages and is a favorite.
So my friend’s sister wanted to play a song that she couldn’t remember. All she remembered was that the song featured Smita Patil in a yellow frock along with Sanjeev Kumar and some other “side”-y hero. Everyone wracked their brains but nothing came up. Finally, yours truly picked up the laptop and this is what happened.

Aim of the Experiment : Find the song

Information given : Smita Patil – yellow frock – Sanjeev Kumar

Apparatus used : Internet

Experiment and Observations :

1. Ask google “smita patil yellow frock sanjeev kumar”
2. Ask google “Smita patil sanjeev kumar movies”
3. Go to IMDB – search for smita patil – go through her movies and see cast
– Too many movies – ABORT
4. Ask youtube “smita patil yellow frock”
– ABORT ( you don’t want to know the kind of results that came up)
5. Ask youtube “smita patil sanjeev kumar”
BINGO – “Baton mein na talo jee… dil de dalo jee”

Time taken : time taken to cook Maggie

Inference : And that’s why I want to make a career out of internet-media


P.S. – Do you have any songs in your mind that you want to search and you have insufficient information about ? Contact Social Bakwaas 2.0  🙂

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